You know that goopy stage in between crawling around like a caterpillar and taking flight, the phase where it looks like nothing is happening while a massive rearranging is in the works? It’s been up close and personal this past year, close enough that the transformation has turned life on its head. Akin to a journey way upstream, I’ve seen a glimpse of where all that’s floating downstream in my experience of life is actually coming from, and I could not be more surprised. And now that I’m poking my head out of the cocoon, and even though my eyes are still a little blurry, I’m amazed at how gorgeous the view is. It’s breathtaking enough that I can’t help but try and put it into words.
I see that my experience of life is coming from me rather than at me, making everything I thought I had to reckon with a lot less solid. I see that years of intense efforting to heal myself haven’t worked because there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. I see that peace and love and possibility is what I’m made of, not some place I’ve gotta exhaust myself trying to get to. I still find myself laughing with relief that I, nor anyone else, needs fixing.
I see the problem has never been in the flow of my thoughts and feelings, only in the judgment of it. I can see through the illusion of “I’ll be okay when I’m finally out of pain,” and that it’s just true that I can be in pain and completely okay in any given moment.
I see that the intelligence behind all life is not only filling my lungs and pumping my heart, but it’s bringing to mind all I need in every single moment and endlessly inviting me into something greater than what I can glimpse for now. I see that underneath all my thinking I am already deeply connected with everyone on the planet, and that love is always on offer anytime I show up and just be with another human.
And perhaps best of all, I see that even though as humans we're gonna forget and remember the truth of who we are a million times, we're always free to create in the world without messing with our stormy psychology. As I told my son this week as we admired a gorgeous sunrise, “Isn’t it cool to know that we’re not the weather that's always passing through, but we’re the sky, the unlimited space in which it all happens?” “Soooo cool,” was his reply.
And so, after a year of quiet, I finally have something to say, something to write about, something to point to. And to my surprise, joining 39 amazing souls from all over the world in Michael Neill’s SuperCoach Academy showed up as the perfect classroom to help me learn how. After a week in LA to kick off our six-month adventure together, I could not be more sure I’m in the right place. God always seems to find a way, regardless of how much we try and figure it out for ourselves, of moving us into the next personally-designed space of possibility.