A little news
Though I'd welcome a faster pace, when I look behind me a few weeks I can see I'm actually getting somewhere. The exhaustion still shows up but not as often as it used to. I'm slowly toughening my workouts and can amazingly climb ALL my stairs without getting short of breath. I even got through yoga last week with more downward dogs than child poses :). My first full-length tennis workout finally arrived last week and though it took my body a few days to recover, it was soooo fun. I've hung up the hats for good and am thoroughly enjoying sunshine all over a sweet little layer of hair. Kai says it's softer than his blanket and, I have to admit, I can't stop rubbing it either. After showing it off to all the kids in church yesterday, one of them told her mom she wants her hair to be just like mine. I could have kissed her. Makes me smile she picked up on the fact that, despite appearances, I do feel beautiful. Muscle and joint pain is my toughest physical and mental challenge at present. Though I've wrestled with this much longer than cancer, I'm told chemo has likely intensified the discomfort, and I'm most-of-the-time hopeful it will heal with time, self compassion and lots of support. I tried a new modality just last week and can feel a tangible difference already. I find myself in pretty thick fear sometimes, but as long as I fully allow it, it eventually dissipates and lands me back into forget-I-had-cancer life. Relaxing on my patio swing with one or more of my boys and soaking in all the green of summer is great therapy, and I get an amazing amount of joy just watering my flower pots and watching them bloom. The hope of a flower bud is pretty contagious.